I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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