Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
