so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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