how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
