How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
