Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
