Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
4 words: hood of his car
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
