my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize