If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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