well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
