I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
