Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
