Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
