Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
