You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
