it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
