It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
