where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
