Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
