her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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