Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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