she was so not down for the gang bang
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
