She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
