with your own penis?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
