So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
