Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I supernannyed him into submission
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
