I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
