So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
