Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
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