i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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