Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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