whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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