What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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