This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
