PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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