this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
