This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
