My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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