you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
