hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
