So drunk, too bad you don't want this
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
40s are totally the cure
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
