You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
