one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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