Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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