i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
