Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
