This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
