just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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