I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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