thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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