so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
