my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
