The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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