It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
