; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am spending my child support on dildos
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
