I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
